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Begin Again

by Iain Clarke

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1.
I caught a train into the past, Through Castlefields and ripped up tracks, Past ghosts of mountains; coal and men, And memories of way back when. From Kippax peak to Allerton swamp, Garforth's cliff, Cas Vegas drop Terrace rows and semi dwells; Rural heaven or suburban hell? Did they clone the father in the rising son Through lovers lost and hearts I've won? Did I ape the footsteps or clear the path, Break the cycle or repeat the past? I'm farther back. If on hill I stood and could shout out loud, "I did him right, I did him proud!" Then only only whisper half a truth, I can only come this far for proof. So, if Jesus lies between the lines Of early doors and closing time Say four hail Marys for me, my son, And make them triple bloody ones. Now my work's half done, I'll say my friend, Draw the line, begin again.
2.
Reborn 03:40
So you stand upon the edge, my boy And what have you to show? All the years you thought would lie ahead, Ah, where did they all go? And all the 'ifs' and all the 'maybes' All come up to none, You just need to set your eyes again On the ruby rising sun. Blurred confusion Taught contusion I think it's coming, I think it's coming. No noise, just sound, no sky just ground. I think it's coming, I think it's coming for me. A whole lifetime of words to say, But no air left to speak. Did you find your own song my friend; Find the truth that you seek? Were the wall you built to keep them at bay, Or stop yourself from getting in? Your own personal pride and prejudice, Your original mortal sin. Blurred confusion Taught contusion I think it's coming, I think it's coming. No noise, just sound, no sky just ground. I think it's coming, I think it's coming for me. And as you open up your eyes again, All wired up and torn, You feel you've redrawn the line again, Now you know you're reborn. Blurred confusion Taught contusion I think it's coming, I think it's coming. No noise, just sound, no sky just ground. I think it's coming, I think it's coming for me.
3.
They put things into boxes; four sides to contain and cage; To hide away, to take from view, anonymous and shut away. They packed away the golden palace, because they couldn’t make it pay. Tore down all the side shows, and now they’ve sent the attractions away. When you’ve sold off the family silver, there’s no more thoughts of gold. When you auction away all the things that you love, does it warm you against the cold; Now you’ve been sold? Did you get what you want? Did you get what you need? Or did you take to the open road, Just to see where you’ll be? Lame, weak and barely remembered, except in a passing thought, A chance to stand then walk on by, or wither, wilt and rot. They pulled down the walls of sanctuary, to add to the baron’s trough. And the sheltered lay awake in a corridor space till their name can be crossed off. When you’ve sacrificed your sense of dignity, there’s no pride in defeat. When you’ve given your gun to the soldiers that turns, no loss feels more complete. Bittersweet. Did you get what you want? Did you get what you need? Or did you take to the open road, Just to see where you’ll be? You lost your soul to the market, You found your God on TV, And you prayed to the great white hope For redemption and peace. If you take the swindlers, then I’ll take the spies. If you keep the promises, I’ll deal with the lies.
4.
Three way road; Not sure which way I need to go; Charging on without direction, I feel real flow, Not guided by a thought I know, Everything is one reaction. Here I see me, Just a force of motion; kinaesthetic oration, Here I see me, Just brief distraction in my own obsession, Here I see me out tonight. Way not shown, Just blown along an endless path Journey not a destination, Lent not owned, The time we have it seems so long, It’s nothing but a tiny fraction. Here I see me, A moment’s light in an age of darkness, Here I see me, A tiny interlude in a grand narration, Here I see me out tonight. Everything you know Is something that is soon forgotten. Everything you’re shown, Changes from the fresh to rotten. So the world has turned, you’ve yet to learn, It’s a borrowed gift so make today your passion, Now, here I see me out tonight. I’m a universe in a speck of desert sand; I’m infinity in the newborn baby’s hand. I’m everything you’ve heard, And everything you’ve ever needed , I’m all you never earned, And every lesson you never heeded. Here I see me, Just brief distraction in my own obsession, Here I see me, A tiny interlude in a grand narration, Here I see me out tonight. Everything you know Is something that is soon forgotten. Everything you’re shown, Changes from the fresh to rotten. So the world has turned, you’ve yet to learn, It’s a borrowed gift so make today your passion, Now, here I see me out tonight.
5.
Well I can tell by the smile upon your face, You’ve been doing me wrong, doing me disgrace. Now you tell me I got misinformation, I’m telling your down I got the right direction. You played with my heart, You’re breaking me down with your deception, But I can’t face on losing you, No I can’t lose you’re warm affection, You tear me apart, But I can’t live without the connection So I’m begging you please, Tell me it’s not me. You’re playing around , running round all night, Leaving me home stealing all my fight, And you tell me it’s my imagination Making this out to be my frustration. You played with my heart, You’re breaking me down with your deception, But I can’t face on losing you, No I can’t lose you’re warm affection, You tear me apart, But I can’t live without the connection So I’m begging you please, Tell me it’s not me. Your cold loving sets ablaze to my soul, Your sweet, sweet talking is the dream I got sold, I got a whole lot of nothing from the time we had, I can’t count all the times you’ve treat me oh so bad, But I can’t take losing though you do me wrong, No I can’t take a losing though you do me wrong, I’m begging you please I’m begging you on my bended knees, Tell me it’s not me. Your cold loving sets ablaze to my soul, Your sweet, sweet talking is the dream I got sold, I got a whole lot of nothing from the time we had, I can’t count all the times you’ve treat me oh so bad, But I can’t take losing though you do me wrong, No I can’t take a losing though you do me wrong, No I can’t take a losing though you do me wrong, No I can’t take a losing though you do me wrong,
6.
7.
Time Lies 03:57
In a sea of memories and moments, It seems like it never got broken, All soft glittering and golden It shines; beauty beholden. Time lines, distant dates, Chance to measure out your fate in moments. Time lies, seldom straight, Casts a shadow on the words Spoken that you’ve chosen not to hear. In days, you edit your yesteryears; Wearing down sandstone with all that you think gleams. You share and then when it comes undone, You swear your truth is the only one. Time lines, distant dates; Chance to measure out your fate in moments. Time lies, seldom straight, Casts a shadow on the words Spoken, but you’ve chosen not to hear. Days gone by, Memories lie, Time flies by, But tears you cry, Are dulled by the weight of the years. Time lines, distant dates, Chance to measure out your fate. Time lies, seldom straight, Casts a shadow on the pain You’ve forgotten just how to feel.
8.
Maybe 05:56
Jump start at eight; you’re an hour too late, still you turn away, From the thoughts of the stares, that they’ll know that you’re there And in the way, and still they’ll say: Walking only gets you where you think you should be, Moved in a town you don’t fit in. A day in a hundred, you will pass muster among the crowds, A lull in the battle, peace in the chatter that’s oh so loud, And you say it proud: Walking only gets you where you think you should be, A place you know you can feel free, Maybe, Did you trade in your fade in for almost there? Maybe, You’re chasing the days with the golden air, They’re not quite there. You’re falling, in void no hope of the ground, Lost in the space; lost in the sound. Maybe, Did you trade in your fade in for almost there? Maybe, You’re chasing the days with the golden air, They’re not quite there. You’re falling, in void no hope of the ground, Lost in the space; lost in the sound.
9.
The Winter 04:12
So now the summer lies in ruins All rust and all asleep, A gold explosion of a dying sigh. All is fleeting, all intransient Caught on the endless turning wheel Into the tunnel away from the dying light. But while the golden beams still dapple, Like a lover's sweet caress Upon your face, upon the morning, Upon the one I love the most. I'm begging please, On bended knees Won't you save my soul through winter? So as the daylight shrinks away, Like a child too small, afraid Hunched down by a candle in the darkened room; As we clear the dust away- The broken promises of May, As the firelight cleanses nature's darkened room, I see your light still in the shadows, Like an ever burning glow; Like a lamp to light the traveller, A burning symbol yet of hope. I'm begging please, On bended knees Won't you save my soul through winter? And in the ever lasting constant of an ever changing life Won't you stay to be the wonder that keeps my dreams so sweet alive? Through the smoke rings and the debris, In the misty morning air, Through the rain as the sullen angels cry For the annual armageddon; For the cull and letting lie; For the darkness brought to bring the world to sleep; Won't you breathe your life upon me- Bring me back to where I need? Won't you scatter all my ashes; Scatter me away to seed? I'm begging please, On bended knees Won't you save my wretched soul? I'm begging please, On bended knees Won't you save my soul through winter?
10.
Mid Winter 01:41
11.
Heaven Bound 05:05
Night falls down, Smothering light, all sound In a quilt of stars Wrapped around who we are. An if everything they showed me, All the world had to show me on this spinning stone Was elaborate illusion wrapped in eloquent confusion Since my time began Would you spin me round once more Upon this glittering floor back around the sun With the truth in your eyes? If stars are lives; Stories told burning bright Would I shine all night, Or cross and burn the sky? And if everything I said And every word I laid On this spinning stone, Was a fantasist delusion With an arrogance infusion In a righteous tone, Would you dance me round again Among the starry firmament unafraid, alone With the truth in your eyes? Dance me through the heavens Through the glorious seven Until the sun grows cold. Send me in a vision Through reality’s collision Until time grows old. Raise me into rapture Through the universe’s fracture ‘til I find myself. Has this become the moment All my stars have chosen? Only time will tell. If dreams don’t fly Then tell me why Do we aim so high? If all that’s left is crash and burn, I’ll turn to sky and heavenward turn. Dance me through the heavens Through the glorious seven Until the sun grows cold. Send me in a vision Through reality’s collision Until time grows old. Raise me into rapture Through the universe’s fracture Until I find myself. Has this become the moment All my stars have chosen? Only time will tell. And if this is time No fanfare, no line I’ll stay beside Nothing is forever left behind.
12.
I’ll come with you dear, if my call you’ll hear Just give me some of your sweet time. I’ll tow any line, let me change your mind, Just give me some of your sweet time. Words speak softly, deeds speak truly, You must prove you’re divine. I’ll say in any words, any thought any verse, Just give me some of your sweet time, From my verse to my purse; from my thought to my verse; Just give me some of your sweet time. Words speak softly, deeds speak truly, You must prove you’re divine. I’ll come with you dear, if my call you’ll hear Just give me some of your sweet time.
13.
14.
When high thoughts fail and words won’t sail And days seem hard to bear; When all seems bleak and life won’t speak, In words that you can hear; When you’re torn through, Ripped to shreds and tattered into to two; When the night feels cold and long with no-one there; Just you hold on, there’s nothing in your heart I see as wrong. And if you be the one, then I’ll be the rest. When it all shuts down, no crash recovery to be found; When your mind has gone and you lose your time and place; When your Word’s not there; all your actions seeming stuck in solid air, And the pill seems hard to take; When you’ve gone through Everything you thought you cannot do, And you’ve shot your horse before it’s even raced; When you jack it in; too scared to face the power you have within; Well, if you be the one, then I’ll be the rest.
15.
I see it written in your eyes; The truth within your smile you cannot hide. It’s been floating for a while; The moment where we both admit it’s time. And though we walk down streets that made us We talk without a whisper or a sound. And if the time was on our side you know I’d make us, But time and tide they sweep aside The dreams I’d always hoped would bide with you. I saw it coming on the tide; One last leave before you sailed from home. And though I know that deep inside, Your heart is settled you’ll still choose to roam. And when you find the thing you hope that will content you, I’ll still be here waiting as before. And when you see that grass is green from whichever side you look, I’ll hear your step upon the path, And leave the key above my old front door. Time flows by, Water ebbing endless over stone. Time flows by Day by day and night by night, Sea to shore and dark to light you home. Time flows by, Water ebbing endless over stone. Time flows by Day by day and night by night, Sea to shore and dark to light, Light to bring you home to me once more.
16.
17.
Day By Day 04:50
You’re a morning sun, you fade in from The day before that wore me down into nothing, You bring me awake. And as I fade from gloom in your sun blessed room As the light invades it takes me far from this dark, And inner space. ‘Cause when the morning comes, it’s all undone, You’re the fresh start I was promised. I’ll take it all as read, and if the truth be said, It’s this that keeps me honest; That if it’s down to fate to wipe my slate, I wouldn’t keep a word still on it, I didn’t mean or didn’t say. If it all falls, sweeps out all before In this life, There’s nothing else I’d choose but to stay with you In this life, Day on day. When the hours all end, no time to spend, Then you my friend and I should stroll together, And see it fade. Until then let’s mend the tears and rends, Let’s make amends for all the time we never Had behind. ‘Cause when it’s said and done, you’re the only one, That sees it as I’m hearing. And when you tell it true, it’s like I always knew That my only fear was fearing. So if you tell me loud and tell me proud Your words I’ll hear as written, Clear on my slate. If it all falls, sweeps out all before In this life, There’s nothing else I’d choose but to stay with you In this life, Day on day. Day by day we fade away, We never stay, so this I say; I pray today, you’ll find a way To make it through with me all the way. ‘Cause when the morning comes, it’s all undone, You’re the fresh start I was promised. I’ll take it all as read, and if the truth be said, It’s this that keeps me honest; That if it’s down to fate to wipe my slate, I wouldn’t keep a word still on it, I didn’t mean or didn’t say. If it all falls, sweeps out all before In this life, There’s nothing else I’d choose but to stay with you In this life, Day on day.
18.
I dropped the burden along the highway, Gave the driver all my cash and the keys, And turned my back on all the roads that lead back home Turned myself to face up to me. Spent thirty seven years on probation, I’ve got a lifetime left to get it right; But when your time is measured out by the beat of the drum, You haven’t time to see the end in sight. You haven’t time to see the end in sight. I’ve got my cards down on the table, And the joker still laughs in my face, I’m the son of the Jack turned red from the black, I’m the King without a queen or ace. I found no answer from the frowning doctors, I got not wisdom from my neighbours in Hell, I heard no certainty from the friends and the loved, No solace in the news that I read. I found no truth within the Holy Bible, No certainty in scripture or scroll, I just need the hope in break of the morning light, To save my mortal soul. To save my mortal soul. I’ve got my cards down on the table, And the joker still laughs in my face, I’m the son of the Jack turned red from the black, I’m the King without a queen or ace. When your life has no place, like a passing plane; Just a bird for another’s idea, The truth is what you make for yourself, The truth is what you make for yourself. Now my hands grasp for something to cling to, Something certain in an unsure fate, A place in space and time that I can call mine, Change before it gets too late.
19.
Everything 04:26
You’re clear in your mind, it’s a vision, The past is behind, just illusion. There’s nothing you’ve said, or thought That keeps you tied to any one thing. It’s all in your head, all reasoned, Your ghosts laid to rest, all seasons Pass by the way, all caught In a wheel of fortune made for yourself. You don’t need to cry when you wake from the fall, You don’t need to hide, just answer the call, You don’t need to speak when all has been said, You just find the light in your heart and shine it. You’re lifting it up, you’re a tower, You’re shaking it up, you’re the power, So time to make sweet from the sour, You’re every moment, every hour, you’re everything. Your soul is a state, it’s an empire You heart is the gate past the wire You placed to protect from those, Who’d steal the treasure hidden within. You’ve broken the line, you’ve torn, The map of your life, you’re reborn , You’ve redrawn the line between, Your heart and soul from all that you’ve seen. You don’t need to cry when you wake from the fall, You don’t need to hide, just answer the call, You don’t need to speak when all has been said, You just find the light in your heart and shine it. You’re lifting it up, you’re a tower, You’re shaking it up, you’re the power, So time to make sweet from the sour, You’re every moment, every hour, you’re everything. Every time you reached for the brakes; Every missed line and every mistake; Every risk you could ever take; Tear up the rule book and burn the pages. You’re lifting it up, you’re a tower, You’re shaking it up, you’re the power, So time to make sweet from the sour, You’re every moment, every hour, you’re everything.

about

A double album length collection of songs begun at home in the spring of 2016 and completed in the autumn following a sudden and unexpected heart attack. This is definitely the most personal collection of songs I have ever released. It tells two stories, first the musical story of a year, but also a semi autobiographical account of someone going through a heart attack and coming out of the other side. A mix of genres combine together to make one coherent whole from start to finish, the sound of a character and a writer learning to come to terms with a knock from the other side. Written and performed by myself with the aid of Gemma Jarrett, whose voice formed an integral part of the Uneven Slices of Sky sessions in 2015.

Following Uneven Slices...I knew that I wanted to come down in the arrangements; the journey to that sound had been a logical one listening to the collections that came before, and this time I wanted to make sure that this was a more 'organic' sounding recording, and the sound has definitely been stripped back in a lot of places, giving these songs the chance to breathe a little more.

The process for creating Uneven Slices had personally been very satisfying, not only in terms of writing, but also recording and producing another's vocal performance was just as enjoyable, and so it was nice to continue that. This time I've been able to be just as certain in what I wanted Gemma to deliver, but I was also able to give her a little more freedom of expression in doing it, leading us down new avenues on several tracks which helped to bring extra depth to them.

To be honest, the heart attack I suffered at the end of August probably saved this collection; by the time I'd got to August I virtually had all the music written and down, but was still short of the majority of the lyrics. I was happy with the (often unexpected turns) the writing had taken me musically, but I was worried that I'd run out of things to say lyrically. What happened next created both a lyrical and production epiphany; suddenly I had an awful lot to say and explore (I don't condone it as a method of finding inspiration, by the way, if you can avoid dying or indeed nearly dying as a method for exploring your creative side, please do!) and an idea for how the collection would shape. The one thing I was certain of was that I wanted this to sound like one continuous piece rather than a selection of tracks, and I think this has been done. The order was then dictated by how the songs sounded and in some cases the lyrics were written accordingly.

Probably the most personal and ambitious collection I have ever put together, but also the most satisfying in the end because it gives me the opportunity to give back. Every penny that is raised from a sale of these songs goes to the British Heart Foundations, to whose research I essentially owe my life and to whom I am very grateful.

credits

released December 1, 2016

Written, recorded, performed and produced by Iain Clarke.
All female vocals by Gemma Jarrett.

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Iain Clarke Wakefield, UK

Hailing from Leeds, West Yorkshire, and now residing in Wakefield, a songwriter and multi-instrumentalist in his own right, Iain has played with well received Yorkshire bands including Hobson, Ringo and the Wolf, Late Arrivals Club, Crossland Fold and Nine Violets as well as releasing an album with respected New York artist Marc Teamaker and songs alongside Craig Buchannan as 2018 BC. ... more

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